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Brain: We turned in revisions, and I am very tired. I think I deserve cake. Cake today? Today is the day I plan on eating cake, drinking tea, and staring at the television. I’m thinking if we search Netflix we’ll find a show about cake.

Me: Actually, Brain, we need to write an essay, and start working on some short fiction.

Brain: I like chocolate cake.

Me: Brain, there are still things to do.

Brain: Lemon cake? Coconut cake?

Me: Essay.

Brain: Look, I can compromise. The 14yr old makes really good cookies.

Me: Essay.

Brain: No essay. Cake.

Me: Essay.

Brain: …you know you’re not getting an essay without my cooperation, right?

Me: [headdesk]

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